Breakdown Letra

I don't even know how I feel anymore........ god damn it

I can't count how many times I been the last one laughing
The joke is on me, cause see I keep crashing
My life is changing, really weird being here and there
But airplane flights and fighting long distance late nights
Doing double duty to a girl id love to live for
Thinking for ever, last alot, last long then I had planned on
Immortal is love, life isn't just a nice portal we go leaping through
I dig through dumpsters and rifle through the scraps
My spirit is starving, I am sad
I just wanted to walk my thoughts off and drink a cup of coffee
It seems like I can't sleep anyway, what am I doing here
My intentions span a mans attention, they pay me no mind
For I am the mother of invention
They say an ounce of pervention is worth a pound of cure
But I'm sure my intentions werent pure
In fact they acted so brazin
That's what forced me to leave this safe haven
And now I'm out in the storm having cut off my escape route
I slid through the some mud in a make shift rain suit
I was soaking wet and drug myself up from the bottom
I was shocked by cupids rock, I chased him down until I caught him
Grabbed the gimpy infant diaper rash
He used to quiver quickly to load love and unload until I started to feel sickly
I was head over high heels in love with my wheels in my girlie
The road came calling but she left early, now I'm falling into early thought
I can't stop thinking I just hope I don't get caught

[faint singing] aaaaaahhhhhh, I break everything

So I broke it off, because I break everything
Fall out of love is an abstract art
I know I don't support your dreams
But I don't mean to be so selfish
I'm just overwhelmed by currents of assurance
still I'm helpless and hoping
someone else will help this coping
to be open is an art form, I'm feeling closed in
mostly a part from where we came from is part of whos to blame
there really nothing nobody can do to ease this pain
I'm feeling freezed in rain drops spread across the roof tops
I'm hiding undercover until the truth stops leaking
With loose lips peaking, gossip starts speaking in toungues
There's not a decent soul among them young ones
Who just gathered in rapture to pay hommage
To the capture of the master
We made ship to shore communication
You are my first true love but ive lost patience
With the endless way we let inpendence way of tendancy
To say I need more space, so please go away
Later on the change is on the otherside, let it slide
Better be hiding the good vibe that I am feeling
When not stealing light from your likeness but
Like it or not, you let the first shot go
And invited the first thoughts of might we be so tired
As to be beyond the first aid our state required

doo doo do do doo do doo do doo doo doo do [repeat]

Man...
You can't bandage neglected efforts or put band aids on baskets
No longer filled with love and now employed as caskets
Yes the love is dead, no the love remains
Nothing sings the soul as much of what the whole contains
When dumped down on this ground below
Spread slow at first but then emerced the town in its undertow
We can't grow in salt water cried the pretty girls
Neither can the flowers bloom
When you in tune your rose pedals in contract with those have settled in their ways
They layed down their arms and gave up thier glory days
Shortly before I walk out this door
I took a last look back and still I'm not sure
I've been a B minus boyfriend whos character was doubted
Who in every fight we had raised my voice and shouted
When I wouldn't even have to say a single thing at all
But if I strive to keep my silence it will be a lonley fall
But if I speak up now and raise my voice above the crowd noise
She only hear me hollering, she won't feel my footsteps
And following the shoes that break dance and exude balance
As the real amazing girl with an endless list of talents
That's why I'm challenging myself to grow up and spread out
If it's meant to be then its meant to be gently
Left alone to work itself out...
I just need more time

FUCK!
I don't even want to do this anymore
the phone calls, back and forth
hello I'm lost, hello I'm found, hello I want you back, goodbye
I'm by myself again, I'm really tired of being lonely
I'm sick of this........ get out of my head

I broke it off because I break everything, everthing I touch turns to dust
ooooh why, why would I want to touch anything, anymore

[whispering] I don't want to go through this again