Funk Dagger Letra

He's the kind of cat you'd find in a bar on a Wednesday night.
Drunk by seven o'clock.
Bartender has already pulled his tab.
We all have a little Funk Dagger in our lives.
So lets celebrate together.
Yeah.

Funk Dagger
loves things that go bump
in the night.

Yeah, he's more than just a ladies man
He's more than just your average hairy-chested tycoon.
He's every man's man
and when he walks into the room, all the heads turn on cue
and quite a few stomachs.

Funk Dagger
loves things with a rump
to pinch.

Yeah, he's more than just a little drunk.
He's known for his powdery infamy.
He throws on that Van Halen on that retro jukebox
and then dances till he obtains ecstasy.

People are always wondering,
Where did he get that name, 'Funk Dagger'?
Perhaps out of an unhealthy obsession with cutlery.
Or maybe he just liked to funk
and go for a ride on that rainbow-colored centipede.

Funk Dagger, oh funk in the night!

Yeah, he's more than just a Superhero.
He has no fear of Kryptonite.
He'll expel all the villains with a thrust of his hips
and his bulbous belly will jiggle while he twists.

Funk Dagger, oh funk in the night!

So the moral of the story kids is: Don't do drugs.
Or at least any of those tasty illegal ones.
The kind that'll make you stutter and stagger.
The kind that'll turn you into Funk Dagger.