Rolf Harris Letra

This is my 26th letter and you still have no responded

Its not my fault that my thoughts have been bombared my your indescribable ways

Your connection with music

I have your signature on my wall so I never, ever lose it

I will never forget your didgeridoo

I'm learning it still and I've scraped a Grade 2

It sounds so earthy though I'm not as good as you

I'm gonna double up my lessons so I can be just like you

I was in a band, so I can understand

What its like to be a struggling musician

Hard to get your word out on the streets when nobody will listen

I play the keyboard

I'm Grade 6

Mum calls me Stevie Wonder

Its a bit embarrissing

I love playing the keyboard

I love Stevie Wonder too

But I love you more

Stevie's shit compared to you



You've made me vegatarian

After all your animal shows

Its actually rather easy

But a bit awkward at home

Mum won't cook anything without a creature in it

She can't give me an apple without rubbing a bit of meat around it

I said 'Mum I don't eat that, I'm veggie like Rolf'

She said 'Stop being so bloody difficult and do as you are told'



I adore your artwork

I've won some pieces at some auctions

I've got a big book at home - some of my own imitations

Of your excellent work

I sometimes draw my friends

Sometimes we all dress up and I play you for pretend

I wish I was you

I can dance you know

I could be everything about you

Except for the beard

Cos...obviously well...I'm a women and well that would just be wierd

Saying that, I have seen them

In fancy dress shops

Theres one on my highstreet I pop in quite a lot

But I digress

Its not about jokes

If it was a beard I was after I'd like other blokes

But they aren't all-round artists!

And like I've said I've captured all my friends as cartoons as caricatures

They all say 'Yeah Rolfs are good, but his aren't as good as yours'



Oh and lookie here

I'm not the only one to notice your so great

You've got a personal call to paint a royal portrait

And there you are

As quick as jack sticks to show off your art

Up to bloody Buckingham to paint the ageing tart!

26 times, Rolf, I've written to you

You've had your chance but now it has fled

Seems you think I was better off dead

You still won't paint me after all I've said?

I tie myself kangaroo down sport instead